Girlfriend
by sweetestlittlelies
Summary: Hermione is ranting about Snape and his 'girlfriend' in Potions. A songfic to Avril Lavigne's song Girlfriend. R&R. I wrote this a while ago I just never posted it so sorry for any mistakes! Rated T just incase. Second Chapter Up!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**A/N: Just another songfic of Hermione and Snape to Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend. HERMIONE'S POV**

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
No, it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend_

None of us could believe it. Right now in Potions Snape is being… nice. He isn't taking points away, he's not giving out a detentions. He even smiled at one kid earlier and the poor kid peed on himself. He isn't even yelling at me for helping Neville with the sleeping drought we were supposed to be brewing. Jack Michelson blew up his cauldron and Snape didn't even yell at him! I guess he took Harry's advice and finally got laid. However, that is not what's shocking us the most. What is was that all had us in a trace -even the Slytherins- was when Snape sat down at his desk, a sultry woman with hair even whiter than Draco bloody Malfoy's (Which I didn't think was possible) walked out of his private quarters and was holding up two pieces of lingerie asking which one. You do not come out of Snape's _PRIVATE QUARTERS _holding _TWO FRICKEN PIECES OF LINGERIE IN FRONT OF A CLASS FULL OF HOROMONAL BOYS! _Then he just had to introduce us to his 'girlfriend' Karma Molino. Well, he didn't say she was his girlfriend. It was just inferred. I _really _don't like her though.

_You're so fine  
I want you mine  
You're so delicious  
I think about ya all the time  
You're so addictive  
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?  
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious  
And Hell Yeah  
I'm the mother fucking princess  
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right_

I guess I just don't like her because I've had a major crush on professor Snape ever since he saved Harry, Ron, and I from professor Lupin in our third year. Harry and Ron know of my crush and have been helping me get into trouble with Snape so I can get detentions with him, and they have been trying to slip a love potion in his drink but it's like he knows about everything going on around him. That's one of the many qualities I love about him. Now I know that I have been working my ass off to get him to notice me but here _Little Miss Perfect _comes up to Snape, holding up lingerie in front of a bunch of _HOROMONAL BOYS! _Let fate have its wicked ways. I don't care… _much_. Okay, so I do care. But what am I going to do? Walk right up there and kiss him until I can't breathe anymore? Well, that sounded like a good idea but I want to save us both the embarrassment. Now I know why people like drugs so much. They keep you going, they are addicting. But hey, I can have any guy I want. I am the damn Gryffindor Princess you know.

_She's like so whatever  
and you could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about!  
_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend!_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
You know it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend_

I _know _he can do better than _her_. Her name is Karma. Like they say, 'what goes around comes around'. You know, I have seen those glances he shoots towards my direction when he thinks no one is looking. That's why I've been wearing more (_cough) _appealing (_cough) _clothes. Clothes that hug me in all the right places but don't seem too slutty. Well, I am a nun compared to that thing that is asking Professor Snape, "Leather or silk." God how much more ignorant can you get?

_I can see the way; I see the way you look at me. _

_And even when you look away, I know you think of me. _

_I know you talk about me all the time again and again  
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear. _

_Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear._

_I don't want to hear you say her name ever again  
(And again, and again, and again!)  
_

_She's like so whatever  
and you could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about!_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend  
_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
You know it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend_

I still don't know why he is avoiding it. I mean, I checked the rules multiple times. There are no rules against it. As long as the student is of age, which I am 18 so of course, I would be of age. Dumbledore knows of my crush. Stupid Harry had let it slip while having his weekly meeting with Dumbledore. However, it made me slightly feel better knowing that if he did finally give into my advances that we wouldn't have to hide it from Dumbledore. I know he is watching me right now, waiting for my reaction. Oh god, I feel my phone vibrating (on the new wizarding phones, they vibrate before they ring.) I quickly but carefully slip my phone out of my pocket. I can't turn it off because it will make a beeping noise, but I _can_ answer the 5-way texting coming from Harry, Ron, Draco, and Pansy. Yes, I have Slytherin friends. After the dark lord was defeated, we all made a truce. Now Ron is going out with Pansy, and Harry is going out with Draco. Okay, you know I will admit it. I am a _little_ jealous.

_In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
Cause I can, cause I can do it better  
There's no other  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid  
what the hell were you thinking?!_

_In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
Cause I can, cause I can do it better  
There's no other  
So when's it gonna sink in?  
She's so stupid  
what the hell were you thinking?!_

I really want to know though. What in the hell _was _he thinking? I _know _I can do everything better than her_,_ even shopping. Having friends like Ginny and Pansy pay off sometimes. I also know that I am definitely smarter than she is. That girl is so stupid. She is _still_ holding up the leather and silk lingerie in front of- you know I am not even going to say it anymore.

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend_

What's going on? Aren't couples supposed to kiss each other on the mouth? They didn't kiss though. They… Hugged. And he said, "Good bye and have a great trip cousin." They were _cousins_, I should have known by the disgusted look on his face when she asked him. So that means, I still have a chance. Gods, life is good.

**A/N: So you like it? Please review! Let me know if you want a sequel!**


	2. Chapter 2

****

A/N: since so may people begged for a sequel, I guess I could write one. Sorry it took so long. I had it written, but my internet has been down. Remember, it is in Hermione's POV.  
-Connie

I was in complete shock. They were cousins. Well now, I maybe had a chance with him. I was walking down the hallway alone. I had to think about a few things.

"Ready for phase one Princess?" Draco asked. We had made up code names and a master plan to seduce Snape. "Scar, Red, Redette, Black, you all ready?" Draco asked Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Pansy.

"Yes Snake we are all ready." Pansy answered. Draco made the hand motion, which meant, 'go' and they went to their places.

"Miss Granger, what are you doing out of your common room so late after curfew?" Snape asked. It was usual to most teachers to see me out past curfew coming from the Library; the only thing was I was not heading towards or from the Library; I heading towards the kitchens.

"I had a craving for chocolate, so I decided rather than to go to sleep with the craving, I would _give in to it,_" I said with a fake innocent face.

"And how would you give into that craving Miss Granger?" Snape asked. He was challenging me to make the first move on a fully loaded battlefield.

"I would find something to cure it, to satisfy my _want_." I smirked.

"Is it a _want, _or a _need _Miss Granger?" Snape asked; his voice silky._ Oh, how I love that voice, _I thought.

"Scar, we need to get her out of there, she won't be able to handle him. Trust me, he has a way with words," Draco whispered over the magically enhanced walkie-talkie.

"Well Snake, how are we going to get her out?" Ginny asked, being her usual smart ass self.

"Well, I suggest that Snake walk right to where they are standing and-" Harry started.

"Why do I have to do it?" Draco whined.

"Because Snake you are able to get out of trouble with Snape. None of the rest of us can," Harry reasoned.

"Has anyone heard from Ron?" Ginny asked. She had a feeling her brother was not doing his job.

"Red, Red, do you read me? Are you there Red?" Harry asked.

"Do you hear that?" Snape asked. He and I were just about to get in a heated debate about something or another.

"Yeah, I do hear it. What do you think it is?" I answered. I was looking forward to the debate, not because I would get a chance to exercise my brain, but because I would be in a debate with Snape. I would not have to dumb down my sentences, put up little argument, I could debate just as if I would in the mirror- oops; did I just say that aloud? Forget I said that. The point being is that I would be in a debate with an intelligent person. Do not get me wrong, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Draco, and Pansy are not dumb, but they are not exactly smart either.

Snape stared to move towards a small alcove that a tapestry hid. I started to get frantic, because that was where Ron was hiding.

"Hello professor Snape, what are you doing here?" Draco asked. I did not know weather to be relieved or angry; relieved because he would not find Ron or angry because he interrupted my time with Servus.

"How did you get here?" Snape asked. He was surprised to see his godson out in the halls so late at night.

"Well, first my mother and father met, fell in love, got married, blah, blah, blah, and then they got into bed and-" Draco started.

"No Draco, I meant how you got right in this spot. When I was doing my rounds you were asleep in your bed." Snape said. He was truly confused for once.

"I walked. I went up the stairs, and I was heading to the library, and I heard a noise so I came here," Draco said while I snuck off.

"Oh, okay, where did Miss Granger go?" Snape asked. He wanted to know where she went.

"I don't know. I didn't even realize she was here," Draco replied, "but I would like to get some sleep so good night professor."

After we woke Ron up, we went to bed and decided to try again tomorrow.

* * *

"Herms, has Draco told you the plan yet?" Harry asked me. We had just gotten back from breakfast and we were about to go to our first class of the day, Potions. Oh, the irony of it all; I had been flirting with Snape the night before I had class with him -but in my defense, he made me forget everything logical when I was around him.

"Today class, we will not be brewing anything. Today we are going to be rewriting what is on the board," Snape said and everyone groaned. Snape just smirked and waved his hand towards the board where writing appeared.

"Miss Granger, will you still stay behind?" Snape asked me. He had been sneaking looks at me all through class. I had also been sneaking looks at him when I thought no one was watching.

"Yes professor," Hermione started and then turned towards her friends "I will see you later."

As soon as Draco, Pansy, Ron, and Harry walked out of the classroom, they went to find Ginny to tell her that the plan advanced. Draco knew that Snape would order drinks from his own house elf, Darla.

* * *

"Darla, can you give me a favor?" Draco asked in a sweet, un-Malfoy like voice.

"I give master's godson a favor if he give Darla a kiss right here," she said as she pointed to her cheek.

"Okay Darla, I will give you a kiss on your cheek if you can out this in Snape and Hermione's drinks when Snape orders them," Draco replied. I was hard to negotiate with the darn elf.

"What is this?" Darla asked as she held up the pink potion.

"That Darla is a lust potion-" Draco started to tell her.

"Darla wants to know if you are going to be using it on Master Snape and Miss Granger to get them together," Darla asked.

"Yes Darla, we are going to try to get them together," Draco said. He was hoping that Darla would agree.

"Finally, Darla has been waiting for someone to come along and get Hermione and Master Snape together," Darla said, since she now knows what she is going to put in their drinks, she was all for getting them together.

"Thanks Darla, now remember, not too much or else they will be lust full for hours. They only need a little drop," Draco instructed. Darla nodded and ran off to get the drinks. Now, back to what is happening in the Potions Classroom.

* * *

"Darla, could you please bring me and Miss Granger some drinks?" Snape asked after the house elf appeared. Darla nodded and was off to get the drinks.

"Miss Granger, the reason I asked you to stay behind was to ask you why you kept sneaking looks at me," Snape said. I got a weird feeling that I only get when he is around.

"Well professor, with all due respect, you were the one that kept looking at me," I stated. I was going to hold my ground even if I know I am wrong.

"Miss Granger, that is because I can. I am the teacher, I was observing your stirring technique and I must say that it needs improvement." I was shocked. I had observed _his _technique and copied it, and here he is saying _my _technique needs improving.

"Professor, again with all due respect, I observed my technique from you and-" I was cut off. Darla had brought us our drinks.

"Here is Master's drink," Darla handed Snape his drink, "and here is Misses Hermione's drink," Darla tried to hand me my drink.

"No thank you Darla, I'm not that thirsty," I said.

"But Misses Hermione, Darla insists. I worked hard on these drinks," Darla said with pouty eyes that I just could not say no to.

"Okay Darla, I'll take one," I said with a smile towards her.

_What in the hell is that elf talking about, _Snape thought. He took another swig of his drink and looked over to Hermione.

* * *

"Darla, did you put the lust potion in their drinks?" Ron asked. He wanted to snag some food while he was here. "Hey Darla, where is the- ooohhh, Butterbeer," Ron said and ran in the direction of the Butterbeer.

Harry stood shaking his head while Ginny and Pansy laughed at the sight of Ron.

"Darla, did you put the potion in the drinks?" Draco asked, completely ignoring Ron.

"Yes Mister Malfoy I put it in there, but there was one thing gone wrong," Darla said, unable to meet the teenagers' eyes. Ever teen in the room was staring at Darla.

"What went wrong Darla?" Harry asked. He needed to make sure that nothing went too wrong.

"Well, Darla was putting the potion in the drinks when Dobby came in wearing the very pretty tea sock, and Darla got distracted, so Darla accidentally put too much in the drinks," Darla said.

"Okay, that isn't too bad, how much did you put in?" Ginny asked. Darla held up the bottle that the potion was in; the only problem was it was empty. Their mouths dropped.

"Darla, please tell me you just spilled most of it," Draco pleaded. Darla shook her head no and Draco lost it. He got down on his knees and pleaded, "Oh my god, they are going to be shagging like rabbits for at least 24 hours! What happened to humanity?"

"Can you say _Drama Queen_?" Pansy said and Ginny started laughing again.

* * *

"Professor, did you turn the temperature up?" I asked. I had already taken off my tie, undone the top three buttons of my shirt, and took off my socks and shoes.

"No Miss Granger, I did not turn the temperature up," Snape said to me. He placed a cooling charm on the room, but still no avail. Snape took off his outer robes and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his inner robes. I started to feel moisture pool between my legs and I clenched them shut; now was not the time for Snape to turn me on.

I licked my wet lips and took another sip of my drink. Snape had already finished with his drink. I took an ice cube out and rubbed it across my neck and forehead. I knew he was watching me by the way he was shifting in his seat. I purposely rubbed the last bit of it across the top of my breasts.

I heard him give off a faint moan and close his eyes. I thought he might be trying to go to sleep, so I waited a minute before getting up and moving over towards his bookcase. There were titles I never even heard of on the shelf. After about five minutes of looking at all the old books, a hot breath on my neck startled me.

I could tell it was Servus because of his approach, sneaky and stealthy. "Professor, what are you doing?" I asked. I did not mind that he was coming on to me, but it was all so sudden.

He did not answer, but he slid his hands down my sides and he played with the hem of my shirt. He touched my stomach lightly and surprising, warm.

* * *

"What happened?" Snape asked as he drew my closer to him.

"I don't know," I replied. "The last thing I remember is taking a sip of my drink."

"Remind me to thank Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, Ms. Weasley, Ms. Parkinson, and Darla," Snape said.

"I think we can thank them after this," I said as I kissed him. We still had a few hours left with the lust potion.

**A/N: Finally I am done! I am a really, really, sorry that it took so long. I hope that I make up for it! Remember to review!**


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